A Fork In The Road

There was a time when I was afraid of saying what I felt God was showing me or offending people. That day is gone. Years of trying to appease people have come to an end. The fear of man has been stripped from my life. I've learned (the hard way) whoever will walk with you will. Whoever doesn't will find a reason or excuse not to. The lack of focus on things eternal and shaping our lives based on things that are temporal has been a pet- peeve of mine for many years but now I realize That I'm not in conflict with it. I just have a vision and goal that does not deal with some things others will pursue or accomplish. Nothing is worse than a person not doing what God has called them to do with evidence of that unquenchable passion. The mistake is trying to get somebody else to have that same drive when that is not necessarily what God has for them. As humans we like our point of view to be in the forefront and usually don't listen to what others are saying. Rather we get offended and prepare our thoughts to respond and correct. Well I have learned to listen to people because their heart can be revealed through their words. Many people miss out on things because of this simple fact. The necessity to be right outweighs the opportunity to hear someone's heart or to learn. What I have also learned is that many people who have been familiar with you can't receive what God has given you a lot of times. It takes a mature person to have the ability to separate you from what God is speaking through you. How many of Jesus' family members were his disciples? This is the reason why some relationships are seasonal. The liberty of Christ supersedes race, class, culture, tradition and any mindset. To embrace Christ we have to die to ourselves. When someone lets go and another holds the level of agreement is lowered. When you agree it can be established but disagreement separates. We need to let the Lord do what needs to be done with these relationships and let Him lead us to a deeper more intimate relationship where we lay down what we think we know for what God says.

Full Circle.

I know i don't blog with any frequency or consistency but I really don't write online unless something really strikes me or I want feedback. I have been going through a transition where basically I don't know how this is going to end up. With basically my life plan going up in smoke 2 or so years ago I have been in survival mode. i have moved away and returned and now am part of a new ministry which i know the Lord purposed. Funny thing i wasn't headed home at all. i was moving to Columbus from WV. Then that familiar voice I know told me to just go home and God provided the way there. Not that the last two years were a total waste. I did get to experience many things and travel to Florida, Nicaragua and go to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City for my first time and met many gracious and wonderful people but it was really a season for me to recoup and learn and be before the Lord. He birthed a desire for me to start a House of prayer similar to IHOP's 24 hour format on the east coast as well as a ministry training center that also teaches practical and technical excellence in media and the arts. (Always wondered why I was a perfectionist.) Being a part of the local body of Speak The Word Christian Church and being reunited with old friends has restored some things to remembrance as this two year journey has added clarity to the vision God gave me at the age of ten. This is just a reminder that God is in control and that what He has purposed for our lives will come to pass. God shows us where we're going but not always the way we going to have to take to get there.

A new day...a new journey.

There are times in your life you just have to recognize that your life is what it is. Your past is what it is and what you do now will determine your future. Once thought to be my greatest asset is now a vice being removed. My personal defense system. Yes I will admit I blocked people from getting close to me and even misled people to believe I'm something I'm not for them to keep their distance. Some things will never change with me though. My greatest relationships are built and based on transparency, trust and honesty. I love my sincere friends and am leery when a relationship is built on what i have to offer and not who God is making me or who I am. As for my defense system it was based on fear of failure. You don't have to fail if you don't try. Other times it was settling for I knew in my heart what wasn't God's best for me at that time. (I will not clarify that statement with situations I'd leave that a mystery.) Basically I either dropped the ball or just did something that was just comfortable but not right. The thing is when you get closer to God your standards and way of living continue to rise to new levels. You need people who will grow with you and not compete with you. I am secure in who I am in Christ and don't need to prove it by religious ritual or quoting scripture. It's who I am. I'm being perfected by God as I live my life for Him. Now in my life is an emergence of a drive I haven't had for years that the circumstances of the last few year chipped away at to destroy. I am not fearful and scared into doing something based on the fear of loss. I am confident God is who He is and what He has for me is better than anything I can ask or even think. No pressure just letting patience work it's perfect work my only commitment is to God. The temptation had been was to try to fit into boxes and plans people had for me. No longer. I won't chase after approval I just really want God and who God has to walk this journey with me. I want to connect in the spirit and not know people according to the flesh. I want something that words can't describe but my spirit can bear witness with. I have settled for counterfeits in the past but now is a new day and a new way and my journey beings now.