I grew up in church in the late 80s and early 90s and sex was treated in Youth like the mystical I need to stay away from it until marriage thing. I really don't remember hearing about anything except for a few rare personal sessions. Basically we never learned how to relate to the opposite sex in church and without my dad around at that time it was like fill in the blanks for yourself. Needless to say i never developed the social skills for that until much later past the point I should of. As a youth Pastor i help out as much as I can not only Biblically but practically. Most things people figure out through various sources and each other. Not good at all. Boys who are clueless collecting data and coming up with our own conclusions? "Danger Will Robinson!" Those tactics with this generation are laughable. I had a youth come up to me talking about he "smashed" a girl he brought to church as a visitor (Won't go there today.). I couldn't even get to first base when I was his age. It quickly reminded me of the necessary issue we need to address with the absence of a parent. Let's be honest our parents train and have those talks with you. Never happened with me. Was I going to ask my mom? She's like the Terminator when a female gets within 10 feet of me now. I don't think so. (No offense if you're reading this mom.) The last things a teenage boy wants to do is ask his mom about relating to the opposite sex. Really until you learn to just be yourself and not be paralyzed by fear it gets better. Really I've had an ideal about relationships that was wrong but it took years. Years I wish i could have back. The point is we have a generation who needs to be taught and given examples of how to do it right. Once you lose your virginity it's gone. I hate hearing i wish i knew and still was a virgin like you. But it's something we as the Body of Christ have dropped the ball on. Women here in the North East use sex and pregnancy to try to trap a man. "If you love me." I heard that and said, " If you respected who i am and what I stand for why can't you wait until we're married and committed to each other?" Was it easy to do that? HECK NO. Did I always want to say it? HECK NO! It's easier to just put on the R&B and go for it. Why didn't I? I committed to God first, my wife second, kids third, ministry fourth and so on even before I walk down the aisle to give myself in covenant. We need to show what God has in mind and why they don't want to spread themselves around and regret it later. Not because they won't be forgiven, but we don't want the devil to have a stronghold to try to bring guilt, shame and hurt later. Their destiny is at stake and a child or wrong relationship can alter the path. They will reach what God has for them but we want them not to have to go through things that thay can be protected from. Let's make an effort to not write off our youth and to reach this generation. Thanks for reading.
-Shamik H. Jones
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