Friday, May 04, 2012

Breaking the Mold, Breaking my Silence...

From 2007 my life has been in an unstoppable whirlwind. Since I've desired to try and take ministry into a place I've personally never seen there has been a pressing from everywhere to conform. I hate it. In the midst of losing everything (not the first time) I have been forced into situations and continually told to "settle down" and "get with the program".  You know what? You all can do that crap. I'm tired of people trying to run my life and put me in a mold. I fit none. Maybe you haven't realized that yet. I'm as unique as my name. Though I have found there's another Shamik Jones walking the earth who is younger it is still not a common name yet. I find doing sound not even a challenge anymore. I care less about approval of peers about mixing, music, ministry and life. I spent my life afraid of expressing myself as I always wanted to. I know a lot of people I know won't get it. I don't care. So many things have transpired these last few days which tried to rip out my heart. I just lied about how I felt and let people go on. Why try to make them feel bad? They don't care. Self-preservation Judas moves have taken me to the cross. When you need people the most they remove themselves. What you have left is true friends and brothers. People flip the script, change the plan when you go through hardship or changes beyond your control. They use that excuse not to keep their word. They shift blame back on you. There is no honor or integrity. A friendship and relationship is altered forever. I can't say anything but "I forgive you." Now I move on to what God has for me not in a mold but outside the box of what is normal. Stay tuned.

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