There are only a couple of relationships I haven’t run from. Those ended with me on the outside looking in crushed and thinking I could be with no other person. In reality it takes a lot for me to let people in my world. I was an outgoing child. Sadly my childhood church experience is what made me guarded. Being a very verbal and outgoing person by nature it’s strange to people that I have a hard time initially expressing my feelings. Past hurt and life experience has put the “beware of dog” poster up when serious relationships come into play. But my biggest letdown hasn’t been the challenges of infatuation as much as the challenges when someone has misrepresented themselves having me add more walls to my defense mechanism. Once you are getting to know me I don’t like to hide things in general even though I am still private with intimate things. You build up a relationship to the point they explode and hate things they said were o.k. and it’s frustrating. Why? When you’re investing time with someone the revelation you wasted time is disappointing. Everyone has flaws whether they believe it or not. A relationship isn’t secure unless it’s tested. Avoiding conflict by lying or just going along to later reveal it eats you up is a red flag in a relationship because it brings trust into question. When you say you love and want to be with them it’s the total package. I have dropped the ball with this myself and learned the hard way. When it happened to me I understood and apologized to who I hurt. (We all have lessons to learn.) When we look for a lifetime lover who we plan to spend the rest of our lives with honest communication is the building block for a great relationship. When we know what’s up it helps us see and make decisions quicker than when we have to start back at square one. For some of us getting into the relationship takes some time. Be honest so you can know what you’re getting yourselves into and not have the shock down the line.
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