One thing in life I learned is not to blame people for anything. You always have the choice to do what you want to do. Most people want to convince you this is not true. God even lets you do this in an obey or disobey dynamic but it's still there. Another thing I know is people move on without you. We all do. There are places you don't fit no matter how you and others want you to fit. I realize I'm a unique person in the aspect of my principles and ideals. I can't help thinking I'm a sellout when I compromise these and become unmistakably frustrated because I'm going against my character and purpose allowing myself to be manipulated by some circumstance. I just don't belong there even though my skill set is beneficial my purpose is not being fulfilled. The non-spoken undertones, rebellion and fights for position get to me really easy since I met that in ministry my teenage years. Everybody talks about how God wants me to do "great things" but now I realize I use a different measuring stick. My mind works a little different I usually see things coming pat what people try to blindside you with. Some things I don't have time to do again. What I need to know really is what God is doing now and what do you want me to do. I know there in the midst of the storm I still have peace that passes understanding. My labor ceases. Obedience to God is the goal. We can hear from Him directly through the finish work of Christ.
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