I know that sometimes people don't understand what a person goes through because we don't communicate it clear enough. Tonight I'm going to take on a personal subject in my life and won't be using names other than my own. There are things people are anxious for and marriage is a big one. We all heard the cliches and the rhetoric that goes along with your single life. What we are never taught are two important things. Build the person you are stronger in Christ and to be led by God in every decision. I think marriage is the second most important decision behind your salvation because that covenant will have an everyday effect on your destiny. With that said let's get personal and explore things that mess us up on the quest..
1. Past Hurt
I being a musician am more emotional than the average guy. But after being manipulated I have hid these expressions behind a stone wall and won't let you in unless you pass important preliminary tests. (Yes that is wrong but go with me I do have a point.) Ah number one we have taken the place of God and now using our little mindset and the things we see to determine if you can even get a fair shot. This is wrong because the person you are dealing with now didn't cause the pain that developed your defense mechanism. You are trapped in a past hurt and until you forgive you will never get past point A. You will relieve the situation even if in reality they are nothing like your ex. Get over it. God is the mender of broken hearts and you're getting a harder heart every relationship.
2. Compromise
Have you ever experienced that you meet the one and they have everything you want in a person except they're not saved. Why should that matter? A covenant that is unequally yoked will be a bondage and life killer to the Christian involved. The kids seeing the conflict will become confused about what to believe and won't have consistency. It is better for both parents to believe the same thing going in. Getting saved after marriage is another blog altogether. The most important point is that falling for the trick shows your "significant other" that they can get you to compromise and that they can slowly pull you away from being "religious". They won't tow the line because you don't.
2b. What about when God says no. We know he says no and we try to make it work anyway. I have hardheadedly gone through this procedure more than once. One day I coming the next day I'm retreating because instead of being obedient I'm being double minded and I'm unstable in all my ways. The other party ends up frustrated because it appears you can't make up your mind. This is the worst form of compromise because you have taken it upon yourself to act on something that God has clearly not blessed. Just wait and trust Him you don't know who you missed messing with someone God told you to leave alone. It's like trying to mix oil and water.
3. The Wrong Mentality of Marriage
You think marriage is a take, take, take and you never give or you marry somebody and try to change them afterwards. If they don't respect their family they won't respect you after the "honeymoon period" is gone. If you are not happy now marriage won't change that. If you expect your spouse to be the source of joy (and not God) you have set yourself up for divorce. She is not your slave. He is not your verbal punching bag. Get in the Word of God and find out what marriage is. The head (the man) is always the servant. The wife is the multi-tasker and the nurturer. The two together bring balance to each other. Find out your Biblical role and find joy in serving God and being who he created you to be. Don't wait for marriage to find out what it takes.
I know it's long but since I can't talk right now, I'll type.
Shamik
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