The Quest For Transparency

There are very few people in my life I am completely defenseless myself around. This even goes for those really close to me. I don't know about you I have always been my biggest critic. I have spent more than half of my life striving for acceptance. Then can that day where I lost care and plummeted to the other extreme. When you live in situations where people see something that you have material or talent wise it really cheapens the majority of your relationships. Some people want to knock that drive out of you to control you and others want to use that drive to benefit themselves others just want to be entourage and can live "off the crumbs" so to speak. When this view controls us we can just shut out of the world. This is what I did. Many times I falsely portrayed what people expected to keep them off my back. I always knew they would never know or value the real me so why waste my time. The problem came when God wanted me to walk in what He called me to be. The facade had to be slowly chipped away. Many people believed I've changed but I had just put a "wall" up since my early days in church from age eleven. Yeah there has been the inner circles and close friends through seasons but that's pretty much it. I looked to people to define me instead of knowing what God has proclaimed and spoke before I entered my mother womb is who I am. The labor to prove something has been removed. The pressure people put on you to do this or that is gone. God orders my steps. I wrote this to encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and obey and do what God says and break free from the fear of man. If people can't accept what you're doing you weren't sent to them. Move on and effect change in the lives God has ordained you to touch. Be honest and accountable for your walk. Pray and fellowship with God and get to know Him in a way your Pastor, favorite preacher or youth minister can't show Him. Let's walk it so we can say like Jesus, "Follow me."