People mistake dissertation for conversation

Dissertation a long formal talk or piece of writing (for a university degree etc).
1. (Social Science / Education) a written thesis, often based on original research, usually required for a higher degree2. a formal discourse
Conversation 
1. The spoken exchange of thoughts, opinions, and feelings; talk.
2. An informal discussion of a matter by representatives of governments, institutions, or organizations.


Commentary
You find out who wants to know your thoughts feelings and etc or who wants to impose their thought feelings etc. on you. Conversation reveals if a person is willing to grow or if they are settled in their ways.
"Change is the essence of maturation." 

Some Random Thoughts...

Sometimes I wonder where my passion went. I used to fight. I used to love. I used to care. I started out in life a very verbal extrovert. (I am still extremely verbal.) Then something like today happens in church when you realize things you have been doing that you were ignorant were lowly taking away that all without your knowledge. You have been trained to think, replay and be sarcastic. It was a truth that rocked my world that i can't adequately explain but i must go in the Word of god and study for myself. After my Macbook died (or at least it's hard drive and I've been off the net unless I'm using somebody's computer or connected device) I have had time to think about me. I will like to say I scare myself. There are moment that I don't know what makes me click. I know this much my connection to Jesus and passion to fulfill what He has destined me to do fuels me. I know I don't want to settle for mediocre Christianity diluted by opinion, tradition and culture. I know I keep myself guarded emotionally unless you are close to me. All I've ever wanted is to live out what everyone says a Christian should be. I've been in ministry since my teens and have worked full time ministry most of my life in churches big and small. I've seen things I love and I hated. Now I realize I've been responding to these things in the wrong way. Even what I think is right must be scrapped if it doesn't line up with what God wants. He wants me to bless and not curse, build and not break and to have mercy and not judge. My mouth has been my biggest enemy. James talks about blessing and cursing. We bless God and curse men who are made in His likeness who Jesus has died for. Have I lost my compassion for the lost in my safe church setting. Do I see my contact with a lost soul as an opportunity to lead them to eternity? Have I gotten too involved with politics of this world, ministry or classicism and been blind to see the purpose of this dispensation of grace. Am I like the Pharisees who wanted to stone the woman Jesus saved? Jesus blood and sacrifice wiped and continues to wipe the slate clean for me. Am I like the man who was forgiven a great debt and hold a small one toward others? Have I become what I despised? We all have to look into the mirror of the Word of God ourselves. Our uniqueness God has given us also means we all don't struggle with the same things. I want to be a balm to the broken not another stone of accusation. I sit here opening the mirror God has given us. His Word.

Jason Upton's Testimony (at The Ramp)

That Awkward Moment in your life you realize people just don't do the right thing just because it's right. (Sadly it still happens to me.)

I guess I stopped lying to my mom around the age of 16. She rewarded me for telling the truth and punished me more severely when i lied. I guess that's when i started getting honest. Now that doesn't mean I all together stopped lying at that time but she laid the ground work for it. I remember being a young department head and misusing our battery supply for the wireless mics and I straight told the Assistant Pastor the truth of our negligence but already had a solution in place. Another staff member was like, " i couldn't just come out and tell the truth like that. I didn't respond but it really struck me as odd. I thought being more like Jesus the closer we got to Him was the goal. Many times I've been punished and cut off for making the move that takes integrity. Christianity is not a business or a livelihood to me. It's my life. Don't get me wrong as leaders you will have to make hard decisions that you may not agree with and do tough things but it should be according to the Word of God and not opinion, society or anything else. Integrity and character go a long way when you meet the people God sends into your life. it make the others separate themselves from you. Everyone cares to a point. But the compassion you have that Christ puts in your heart with easily surpass that. The selfish nature of sin and this world system goes against that. When you let it seep into the church this feeling of disappointment start to get widespread and is a seed to apathy. People are looking for the example of Christ in our lives. They want something different. We can't afford to misrepresent Christ when we get a chance to minister to the lost and backslider. By living Christianity and not only demonstrating it in times of connivence we give people the opportunity to see the tangible difference.

Acts 1:8 "But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth." -Jesus