Epic Fail

It's rare you have more than one shot at something outside of yourself. It takes the will of two aligning at the same time. Looking back I've blown a lot of these things in the form of various opportunities. There are some I have not. Knowing God knows the end from the beginning and giving me the power to choose to obey or try to go my own way has been a bitter sweet trip. Many times on this trip I have tripped up but until the total evaporation of my facade I was unable to admit this. I know this opportunities have their limits as the patience of other humans. Being ruled by fear hinders movement toward your goal rendering you helpless because you are dependent on yourself. An emotional decision can alter everything. In example Moses was angry and hit the rock when god told him to speak to the rock. He never stepped into the promise land. I have a much greater appreciation of God's mercy and grace because of this. What do you do? Obey because that's all you can do. God is the only one who can pick up the pieces and deal with a heart. I admit until my world came crashing down a couple of years ago I hid my heart from everyone. I finally had to surrender it to God and say "I trust you." I may not see how something may work out but I still trust you. Epic fail is becoming so cold that the one who created you and loves you you push away because you have become so hard toward everything. I know this lonely place and many times it feels like you won't make it back from there. You have to give up that heart of stone to God so He can make it a heart of flesh again. Pliable and easy to directed by the Spirit of God. We have to repent of being so cold and let the healing in of our hearts. Then we can freely express the love inside without fear.