Moving Forward

Just received the final track of a mastering project today. In fact it a track I produced and J did a great job on the mix. While in my project studio I also started making church music tracks in my singing keys. I got so spoiled singing with my sister Bridget all these years. (Her music memory and talent are ridiculous.) Really my desire to do music returned in WV when i actually got some time to pay attention to it and forgot what I love to do and God called me to do in my teen years. Being a workaholic I have been working on my focus and setting and meeting deadlines in a reasonable time. As I listen to this track I think of my friend Juan and what we started in the early 90s musically. I'm now working with his cousin and another friend closely with a bright future ahead of us doing what I planned to do with my life in the first place. It's called full circle you get off of track trying to please others and live an image who is not who you are at all. I know I need to reintroduce myself to many people who have been in my life at one time or another. Even with the struggles and complications life is starting to feel right again. Like I always say it rains on the just and the unjust and we all get wet but what will you do? I choose to do what I always wanted to with my life music, ministry, a family and preparing the next generation to pick up the baton. Funny even when my dad returned I wasn't thinking about none of that just sat in the valley of decision about my life. Did I even want it. Serious. You know your weaknesses and you don't need reminders. Now it doesn't matter. I needed to find my initial connection again. The ten year old mesmerized by that puppeteer who talked about the light. The teenager who heard God's voice and refused to go down that path. The man who was at his ropes end and found friends and a life changing experience at Bible College in Columbus, Ohio. I had lost that. My drive aggressiveness and determination I had. My care and zest for life itself. As I open my mastering software and see myself now here I know it's a new beginning for me and a changed attitude toward things I took for granted and dishonored with my stubbornness. I learned when you harden your heart it is not selective. It becomes hard toward everything. I remember sitting in the second row front left at The International House of Prayer in the midst of prayer and worship asking God to soften my heart again. I had hardened it in a attempt to protect myself from the hurt, rejection and anger I felt for a lifetime. He did. Now I'm here finding again who I once was.