Relationships, Communication and What People Expect

Let's just admit it. We have different levels of friendship whether we acknowledge it or not. We all are different and like different things. There are people who are straight up associates in my life. We're cool but the relationship is superficial at best. Then there is what I refer to a the 12 (a Jesus and his disciple reference) the ones who are around you and know your vibe so to speak. Then there are you inner circle even within that. The closer the person is the more they know the real us. The further away a person is the more likely they are to believe a lie. Fellowship or hanging out and getting to know each other remedies the potential for people to believe gossip and lies. The problem is our facades. We love to save face and have the upper hand. When somebody shows vulnerability selfish people usually go for the jugular which will deny future access. If communication is at a low assumption usually happens. But not only us our circle of friends too. Sad but true many have been tried and convicted in the court of public opinion. Going to somebody else instead of talking it out with a person is mistake number one. You shouldn't take another's opinion of a person. You need to know them for yourself. Sometime what you see on your own is enough to make you run.
Another problem with wanting something from somebody you're not close to is expectation. No two people think of handle things the same. If you don't know the other person's reasoning and thought process you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You expect one thing and the other person is thinking something else completely different. It's good to have a grip on what is fantasy and what's reality in your relationship. When you think a scenario in your head and it doesn't work out you may get upset and do irrational things. The other person is like o.k. where did this come from? NO, WE CAN'T READ YOUR MIND. What you want and desire must be communicated and not hinted at. Hey we love to play the mind games and such but they leave you nowhere. (Trust me I know.) Being open and honest helps any relationship. People then are able to get to know you and what you really like and dislike. When you try to spare people feelings and lie it causes problems too because they will think it's o.k. while in the meantime you are frustrated. Having healthy relationships make life a little easier. Even though you won't see eye to eye all the time there will be clarity where somebody stands. Don't let people on the outside sabotage a potential relationship and friendship take the time to get to know somebody before you size them up. Another life lesson I learned the hard way.