Another Birthday and The Things That Matter Most

I look at my life and I see many things. Specifically I see how people like to feel important but not make others feel that way. I see in myself something I battle against, selfishness. I rarely feel sorry for myself or hold grudges but seriously at one point I really thought there would not be people in my life who cared for me for me. Yeah there's Shamik the musician, producer, sound man and minister but there's one Shamik I felt was ignored, Shamik the person. Over the years he's been expected to be something he's not. The pressure drove me up the wall. People wouldn't talk to me put throw me into situations where I was expected to know what to do how to act and approach something. Many things in life I found out through trial and error due to lack of leadership, mentorship and a father figure. Trust me it's not an excuse but it's the reason I had difficulty. A parent methodically teaches a child over time when somebody else will instruct you once and expect you to get it. Then there's the standard you better not break if you want to get in the inner circle that same standard you see nobody else keeping. For a while I really forgot who I was. Then there are friends like Adrian. He was the first friend who had nothing in common with me music, sound or ministry who just wanted to be my friend for me. He's the reason I steal off to Columbus, Ohio now (since Mark moved) because his family became like my 2nd family. It's true friendships like this and the love of my church family that now helps me keep my life in perspective. It's a relationship that is complete mutual. As I get older the people who support you, believe in you and have a grip on what God has called you to do are those who matter most. They remember your birthday and are the first ones hitting you up even the day before. These relationships are not performance driven. It's those time even through the hard times you work it out and grow. You accept them for who they are and not reject them for who the aren't. This birthday I'm a rich man not because of my bank account because of the blessing of the people who are in my life and have been in my life. Thank you all for being genuine, listening and being truthful with me. I love you all.

-Shamik